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Know the Warning Signs
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If a child talks about being abused, take him or her seriously. Take steps to get help for the child.
Children who are abused may show physical and behavioral signs.
General Signs - Abused children may seem:
- Nervous around adults or afraid of certain adults
- Reluctant to go home (coming to school early or staying late, for example)
- Very passive and withdrawn – or aggressive and disruptive
- Tired a lot, or they may complain of nightmares or not sleeping well
- Fearful and anxious
- Sudden changes in behavior or school performance.
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Know the Signs of an Abusive Adult
Consider the possibility of abuse if a parent or caretaker:
- Seems unconcerned about the child’s welfare at school or at home
- Denies problems at school or at home – or blames the child for them
- Sees the child as worthless or a burden
- Avoids discussing the child’s injuries, or gives conflicting explanations for them
- Abuses alcohol or other drugs
- Seems isolated from other parents and school and community activities
- Uses harsh physical discipline or asks other caretakers to use it
- Depends on the child for emotional support
- Seems indifferent to the child
- Seems secretive or tries to isolate the child from other children
- Frequently blames, belittles or insults the child
Signs of Child Sexual Abuse
Behavioral Signs
Some of these signs can show up at other stressful times such as divorce, a death in the family, or when there are problems in school as well as when sexual abuse is involved. Any one sign doesn’t mean the child was abused, but several of them mean that you should begin asking questions.
- Nightmares, trouble sleeping, fear of the dark, or other sleeping problems.
- Extreme fear of “monsters.”
- Spacing out at odd times.
- Loss of appetite, or trouble eating or swallowing.
- Sudden mood swings: rage, fear, anger, or withdrawal.
- Fear of certain people or places.
- Stomach illness all of the time with no identifiable reason.
- An older child behaving like a younger child such as bed-wetting or thumb sucking.
- Difficulty walking or sitting, or other indications of injury in the genital area.
- Sexual activities with toys or other children. New words for private body parts.
- Sexual knowledge or behavior beyond what is normal for the child's age.
- Talking about a new older friend and having secrets.
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Physical Signs
- Unexplained bruises, redness, or bleeding of the child’s genitals, anus, or mouth.
- Pain at the genitals, anus, or mouth.
- Genital sores or milky fluids in the genital area.
Source: Because There Is A Way to Prevent Child Sexual Abuse: Facts About Abuse and Those Who Might Commit It, STOP IT NOW (2002)
Signs of Psychological Maltreatment
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While these symptoms don’t always indicate psychological maltreatment, you should be concerned if a child:
- Seems hostile or aggressive;
- Does poorly in school;
- Withdraws from others;
- Acting overly mature or immature for the child's age;
- Exhibits extreme changes in behavior;
- Appears depressed;
- Automatically goes along with the wishes or ideas of others; or
- Craves attention from adults.
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A Parent's Behavior May Offer Clues
Psychological maltreatment is most often invisible, with no physical marks or bruises. Watch for behavior that is repeated over time. For example, the parent may:
- Always seem disappointed with the child’s progress at school;
- Refuse to meet with teachers, principals, or other important adult figures in their child’s life;
- Stay isolated from the community;
- Belittle or scream at the child in public;
- Abuse alcohol or other drugs; or
- Often reject the child’s show of affection.
If you fear a child may be psychologically maltreated, please click the link to learn more information on Reporting Child Maltreatment.
Signs of Physical Abuse
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Physical child abuse is often easier to identify than other forms of abuse. The following are factors that may indicate physical abuse:
- A story that does not explain the injury. Bizarre or impossible explanations of injuries are sometimes offered by the abusive parents, caretakers, or child victims.
- Inadequate, changing, or conflicting history or explanations of the child’s injury given by the parents or caretakers.
- Delayed or inappropriate treatment for a child’s injuries.
- The presence of bruises, lacerations, swollen areas, or marks on the child’s face, head, back, chest, genital area, buttocks, or thighs, or specific lesions such as human bites, cigarette burns, broken bones, puncture marks, or missing hair.
- A child who shows signs of minor or severe injuries with increasing frequency.
- The presence of numerous injuries in various stages of healing, making it obvious they could not all have occurred at any one time.
- A child who exhibits one of two personality patterns. The child may be compliant, shy, withdrawn, passive, and uncommunicative, or the child may be anxious or somewhat hyperactive, aggressive, disruptive, and destructive.
Any one injury may have a legitimate explanation. But when the story does not explain the injury or a pattern of frequency becomes apparent, physical abuse should be suspected.
Many physically abused children are young: 40 percent of reported victims are five years old or younger. An estimated 90 percent of reported child abuse fatalities are in this age group.
If you fear a child may be physically abused, please click the link to learn more information on Reporting Child Maltreatment.
Signs of Neglect
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No parent can be attentive to a child’s needs at all times in all places. But repeated inattention is cause for concern. Be alert for:
- Extreme Behavior. Be alert to aggressive, disruptive or destructive behavior. Also, watch for children who lavish affection on everyone – including strangers. Children starving for attention often go to extremes to get it. Other neglected children react to the lack of warmth and affection by withdrawing. They are extremely shy, can’t relate well to adults, and have trouble forming close friendships.
- “Uncared-for” Appearance. Youngsters who constantly wear dirty, tattered or torn clothes; dress inappropriately for the weather; or lack other good personal hygiene habits may be suffering neglect. Children who look undernourished may not be eating enough of the right kinds of food at home, or may not be getting any food at all.
- Lack of Supervision. Suspect neglect if young children are left at home alone for long periods. Also be alert for parents who rarely, if ever, seem concerned about where their children are or what they’re doing. Students who are habitually absent or tardy may be neglected children. For more information, please refer to the ND Dept. of Human Services’ Child Protection Guidelines.
- Need for Medical Care. Possible clues to neglect include: poor dental health, failure to have damaged eyeglasses repaired within a reasonable time, incomplete immunization records, and other medical problems that are ignored.
If you fear a child may be neglected, please click the link to learn more information on Reporting Child Maltreatment.
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